The Ten K: Lost Time is Never Found Again

I've lost a kilogram. I am not worried. There is approximately 25 days until race day. I am now a little worried. "Oh shit", said someone, once, probably French. My training is going well and the contents of my diet are near perfection. "I must have a thyroid problem, yes, that's it. It was likely brought about by all the stress I've been burdened with lately; the kids have broken up and I feel that the nanny isn't pulling her weight. The Polish have always been suspect to lethargy." But alas, I know the real answer: portion size, and that means I have to cut it. So, if you see a shadow of a man/boy drifting through the Surrey undergrowth of endless Waitrose car parks and Range Rover Evoques, with a glint-less eye and unconvincing smile, it's me. Hello.

(NB. The diet pointers and training I spoke of in the preceding posts are all water-tight. Losing a kilogram in two weeks is a pretty perfect rate of weightloss...it's only that I have urgent dreams to attend to and there is a sledge of shit dragging behind me.)

Adjustments made:

1. 'Freddie, the multivitamin days.' - As I'm cutting calories and increasing training volume, I've bought a top notch multivitamin from Solgar (see below, obviously). It's the one you take twice a day; the one-a-day ones are so heavily loaded with 'B Vits' and Iron, that it makes it near impossible to absorb everything, hence why when you take them, like a Japanese schoolboy, you too are greeted by radioactive pee. Bring on 2020.

                                                       

2. 'Dulling the senses' - No, I've not yet succumbed to the bottle's deep, resonating allure, but instead have added a Swedish touch to my plate. The more foods and flavours you have on your plate, the more you will eat. Fact. Ever been to a buffet? Well, nor have I, but I'm told your eyes betray you. So, be like an Ikea kitchen and don't chuck everything on there. Thinking that some humous and maybe a quinoa dish will also go with your mashed sweet potato, tuna steak and avocado salad is all marvellous but it is TOO much. Just because it's healthy doesn't mean it belongs on your plate.

3. 'Finishing with a flourish' - I'm now adding 2-4 quick hill sprints to the end of my runs. It doesn't matter whether I've done a thirty minute 'tempo run' or an hour and twenty minute 'long run', the sprints will follow. If the race comes down to the last 5 minutes, I will have been there before. Death, taxes and hill sprints, said no one, ever.

4. 'Once more to the track' - track running gives rusted technique a good lick of paint; a bad gait or a drifting arm is cruelly exposed when running on the flat, around and around and around in a circle. Did you know that Tirunesh Dibaba can ONLY turn left? Anyway, I'm going to be doing 400 metre repeats tomorrow - that's 400 metres completed within 80 seconds, repeated 10 times, with a 200 metre recovery distance in between each 400 metres. I warm up extensively for this little gem...that means lots of dynamic stretches and few plyometrics to get my central nervous system and my muscles firing on all cylinders. Why 400 metres? It plays around, ruthlessly, with all the energy systems. Therefore, you ought to leave the athletics track a tad distraught, but with aerobic, anaerobic, ATP-PC and lactic energy systems to be revered. Phew, what a lot of energy systems we have...we're positively brimming with'em. (NB. This style of training is applicable to many other disciplines. For example, swimming....yes, swimming...James C..Harry...swimming....Bueller?)

5. 'Call me George Clooney' - I'm drinking a fantastic amount of Nespresso coffee. You should too. See this post for reasons why: http://justbootcamp.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/coffee-before-exercise-just-do-it.html. 

So if If you're ** years old and you are still not drinking coffee, you need to waltz down - though non-coffee drinkers are loathe to waltz, preferring a morose 'traipse' - to a Nespresso shop, nod warmly to the poster of George Clooney, allow his omnipotent gaze to bear down on you and buy a coffee machine. It will be THE best thing you ever do. Your first house, kids, a car, a toothbrush, food for your pet, food for your children are all transitory in comparison to a Nespresso coffee machine. 

Anyway, I must dash. Ciao

The Ten K: Diet Pointers

I'm not going to faff around on this one. Here are some diet bullet points that i will be adhering to over the course of the next few weeks. More will follow.

1. I don't count calories. Each person is genetically individual, therefore you each have differing ways of handling micro and macro nutrients - one calorie of white rice may be used/burned differently in a woman from Vietnam than a man from Greenland; find what your body is most comfortable with (gluten tends to make me feel lethargic and bloated, for instance). Furthermore, to count calories makes for rather a vapid existence, and often drags you into unhealthier psychological realms - don't ruin your relationship with food.

2. I eat when I'm hungry, not when my appetite, often dictated by the Gregorian calendar and external stimuli, insist I do. Drink a glass of water if you think you're 'hungry' - thirst is easily veiled - and wait for 30 minutes after eating to see if you are in fact full.

3. I always have a small piece of very dark chocolate at the end of the meal, handed to me on a tray fashioned out of integrity and respect, always accompanied by an espresso if it's at lunch, obviously...darling - this helps stop the release of ghrelin, the hunger hormone, as it signals a close to the meal. If this doesn't work, brush your teeth. 

4. I have something sugary post exercise (see blog on babies) and then eat within the hour. This meal always has carbs, to aid recovery, in it. Generally the carbs consist of either sweet potato, quinoa, lentils, legumes (black beans, butter beans, kidney beans etc.) and every now and then potatoes or rice noodles (good for Asian dishes). Look up Otto Lenghi for foody inspiration.

5. I'm not afraid of fat. If you've ever dieted and excluded fat, then you too will empathise with the crushing hunger and relentless fatigue that forever hangs from one's shoulders during so cruel a period. Fat is fucking fantastic, l defy anyone to increase their fat intake (only good quality fats need apply - coconut oil, fat from mackerel, extra virgin olive oil and beef, lamb, pork from a butcher etc.) and not see a difference in mood, cognitive function, sex drive, general demeanour and increased use of alliteration. 

6. I am the like the child from 'The Sixth Sense' but instead of dead people, I see sugar. It's not the same but it has it's moments. That means when you order a 'totes delish, über yummy mango salad from this, like, UNbelievable (and yet believable) retro-vegan, salad bar, run by this super-cute lesbian couple from Sierra Leone', I am aware that what you saw as a no carb, charity salad that you just HAVE to tweet about -#sierraleonesaladsareasbadastheirwarcrimesomg - I see as a sugar-laden, pretentious carb festival, without wrist-bands. Beware of sugary dressings and elusive salad dwelling fruits. Stick to lemon juice, mustard, olive oil etc.

The finishing note: If you are strapped for culinary ideas, stay true to this trusty combination...

Bake a sweet potato, steam some vegetables, throw in some pea shoots, rocket and watercress and then add either chicken thighs cooked with lemon and garlic, pork loin cooked with Moroccan spices (Ras el hanout etc.), salmon fillets with parsley, butter and lemon or even a ribeye or fillet steak. Be aware of portion control though...there is no shame in not finishing a plate of food (apparently).

More training intricacies to follow next week...

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The Ten K

This was meant to have been released last Friday but hey, here it is...

I have entered into a '10K'. I am 6ft 2", have the hair of a Disney heroine and the manner of an Edinburgh based, Giant Panda, but I weigh 14 stone. Running for extended periods of time and carrying weight is not a match made in heaven. Mo Farah looks like Naomi Campbell did in the late eighties and is now, arguably, Britain's greatest ever athlete. What I am loosely trying to say is, I need to lose some weight. I tell you this not because I see this white screen as a diary to pour out the inevitable arrival of hunger fuelled, hormonal thoughts ('How many voicemail messages are 'too many'? Why can't I still pull off baby blue!?') but rather to articulate what I'm doing to get race fit and whether it's working. Today's piece will give but a broad outline of what I'm up to; the intricacies of dieting and training will be approached at a later date.

That What I 'Av Done This Week & Why

Monday - A long run. I ran for an hour, wearing my Vibrams and a disturbed look that said, "drinking rum until four on a Sunday morning, is one of THE biggest mistakes modern athletes make today...that and bad footwear...but mainly the rum." Why do this? To allow muscles to adjust to continuous strain, thus promoting muscular endurance.

Tuesday - A shortish run at race pace (the 'tempo' run). I went galloping around the countryside with my brother for forty minutes. We met a Golden Retriever puppy along the way. The sound of two young men/boys shrieking, "PUPPY!", was heard across county borders. Why? Because we LOVE puppies. Why do this? To get used to desired racing speed - it shouldn't be an abstract gear when race day arrives.

Wednesday - Bootcamp. I joined in the bootcamp that day and thus I too flipped tyres, swung kettlebells and worked on creating 'internal abdominal pressure' for an hour. I wore a paisley patterned headband throughout...the day. Why do this? Although the tyres were unnecessary, the core work will promote a stronger running form; if you're weak in the core, your posture falls apart, you can not utilise your glutes effectively and your gait will deteriorate.

Thursday - Boxing. I had a PT session with 'Will'. We tend to always box on a Thursday. All of it is partner based. If Will has a long city lunch, he tends to get hurt. Silly Will. Boxing and skipping strengthen the Achilles' tendons and your calves - both are rather important now that I'm running barefooted. Furthermore, it's important to throw in another form of cardio whilst training for a particular event. Smash the status quo 'n' all that.

Friday - Interval Training. Today's interval training was hill sprinting. Myself and 'James' (James is training for a 'sprint triathlon' that his fiancé entered him into; a glimpse of married life. Silly James) did twelve sprints in total. The distance varied from sixty to three-hundred metres. James weighs  twelve and a half stone. I spent most of the time staring at James' bum (because I was a touch slower...and I wanted to..."Like two baby tomatoes they was"). I felt like passing out and throwing up simultaneously - is that even possible? We ate loads of Jelly Babies. Running hills increases your aerobic capacity like you probably would believe.

Saturday - Will be spent swanning around the garden, discussing Syria and this year's lavender renaissance. These sort of discussions are done because they allow for a broader endurance to blossom...and lavender is the shit. Word.

Sunday - Will be spent distributing surplus food to homeless shelters in and around south London. Or...will be spent crying because I have a hangover and I feel like squirrel is hammering away at my eyes with a small but very real hammer.  

In short, I have increased cardiovascular exercise and decreased resistance training...kissing away the bulk and embracing the mashinist within.

Next week we shall discuss the beloved diet and all that jazz.