Tuesday, November 18, 2014

I Do Two Things, Daily


I do two things, everyday, without fail. They have become ritualised, ingrained 
like concentric layers into my own tapestry. They are things that you may choose to do; you may not. Either way, they are:

1. Run & Walk - we are humans (after all). We are designed to move. Run or walk, 
or do both BUT please move, daily. Walking helps drain your lymphatic system - 
moving lymph through the body, clearing out your body's sewer network; walking 
will strengthen your heart, improve your balance and coordination, strengthen 
bones, increase vitamin D (if done outside - who the fuck walks on a treadmill - 
a preserve of the Bourgeoisie), manage blood pressure and type 2 diabetes. Oh, 
and helps prevent against VARICOSE VEINS. Want to look like a London Tube map? 
Exactly.

Some of you will be reading this from the cosy confines of your local gym, where 
you are placed ceremoniously on a vibrating plate, praying to God that if you 
stay put for long enough, whilst flicking your shaky digits through Zoe Sugg's 
latest work, your body will enter metamorphosis. Not only do you have 
splendiferously awful taste in literature, you are wrong. If you want to lose 
weight, you must move. That is a fact. 

2. Coffee & MCT oil - I wake up, I feed my puppy/small pony (Wilbur), he then 
runs around manically like he's been on crystal meth all night and I turn on the 
Nespresso machine. I put two tablespoons of MCT oil in the bottom of the cup and 
add a double espresso. The following ten minutes are passed in silent, catholic 
ecstasy. Why do I do this, asides for the pure, unadulterated joy? MCT oil is 
comprised of medium-chain triglycerides. They improve cognitive function (help 
prevent Alzheimer's), hormone balance, metabolism, blood sugar and appetite 
regulation. Combine this with coffee and you might feel like you could run for 
President. I will leave it there, do your own research. Do not embrace 
dogmatism. I am not the fold, neither the preacher. My word is certainly not 
gospel.

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